I’ve learned this very important concept: “Always judge a man by the way he treats YOU, and not by who he is, or how much money he makes” (M.Rosenfeld). If he doesn’t call you, doesn’t ask you how was your day, and doesn’t reciprocate on your actions towards him, he doesn’t care as much about you. With that said, I would like to remind you one little thing that we women all probably know, but often times forget!
Never Chase a Man that Doesn’t Chase YOU
1. A guy that is interested in you,will always find time to call or text you
Even if he didn’t,later he will explain why. If he doesn’t do that, it means either he has another woman, or he is not that into you. In either case, you don’t want to be that kind of annoying woman, which he has to block on his phone or dating web site.
2. He is not shy
Often times we assume that a man we like is too shy to do a first step,so we always call and text him first. It’s ok to approach once, and may be twice. Don’t expect your man to do everything while you are being a princess. However, after ONE of your first steps, he should gain his courage and start doing steps towards you, if he is shy indeed, but interested in you. If he continues acting “shy”, forget about him, he is simply not interested.
3. Women and men react differently on chasing
When a man chases a woman, often times, she becomes interested in him, even though she was not before. For the most cases, men, however, don’t work this way. The more you chase them, the less interested they become.
4. Don’t lose your self-esteem.
When we chase him without his reciprocation,we look miserable and desperate. Even if he was interested,he will not be anymore if you act like you don’t value yourself, and don’t have other options. In addition, when he treats you badly, but you on the other hand, chase him anyway, he will not have to do any work or apply any effort to gain your interest and respect. He already got you, without any effort. So he will just continue treating you like an unimportant, but convenient object in his life. A woman that loves herself, will never let a man treat her badly.
5. Don’t analyze/don’t overthink
When a man doesn’t reply to your messages,he might have a hundred million of reasons not to do so. We tend to analyze our words, and overthink. And then we want to fix what we think we’ve done wrong. In that case, I always remember this golden rule that helps me to relax and stop overthinking:”A small mistake is often made worse and more visible when you try to fix it. It is sometimes best to leave things alone. If there is something you want, but cannot have, show contempt for it. The less interest you reveal, the more superior you seem” (48 Laws of Power, Robert Greene). If it wasn’t something like “stop texting me”, than you probably haven’t done anything wrong. And even if you did, the person who cares, will not just disappear. Think of the way you acted in that case, if you’d care a lot about a man.
Most of the men will EVENTUALLY contact you again anyway,especially,if you didn’t chase them. But think twice,whether you need a man who doesn’t treat you as a valuable human being in his life and as a priority? Do you need a man who ghosts and doesn’t care about how you have been all this time,and doesn’t apologize for disappearing?
Look at a man’s actions,not at how handsome or rich he is. And then you will lose a necessity to chase a man,which doesn’t treat you as the best,the most worthy woman in the world,which you definitely are!
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When it comes down to a relationship between the two people, it can be very challenging to achieve a true harmony. There can be many reasons why it doesn’t happen. In this article, I’m focusing on some of the most common mistakes that we, women, make dating a man.
1. Talking about other men
One of the worst mistakes women make being in a relationship or even just dating, is talking about other men. Sometimes, we do that unintentionally, however, often times, women use this “trick” to make their men jealous.
By “other men” I mean:
men that give her attention at work/school/gym etc…
Men love being and feeling if not the only one, but at least special in a woman’s life. Talking about other men to him, we play with his confidence and self-esteem. Men are very sensitive regarding this subject.
2. Loving too much
This one is a very common mistake. When we meet a guy we like, we easily become fully focused on him. We hang out only with him, and even if not, we talk about him with our friends and family all the time. We build our life around him. We change our own preferences and activities to his. We want to be liked by him, instead of thinking whether we like him based upon his actions towards us, and not for who he is. We lose our own interests, opinions, and goals, because he becomes the center of our attention. Eventually, it turns into an unhealthy obsession with that man. Men don’t appreciate that, as we might expect. Instead,they lose respect for us and pull away. (Read more in “Women who love too much” by Robin Norwood)
3. Texting/ calling
When we respond to man’s texts right away, placing our priorities on the bottom of our to do list, or text/call him first, when he doesn’t much reciprocate to our moves, we lose our value, and our valuable time. At the same time, playing games, pretending being hard to get (waiting for hours to reply, for instance), is a very unnatural and unproductive way of behavior for your own self. Instead, spend time improving yourself, developing your knowledge and skills, and you will lose the necessity of playing hard to get, or an addiction to text him all the time and get texts/calls from him.
Controlling happens out of the lack of trust and self-confidence. Whether we control our man to get done something or to be loyal, we lose in both cases. Trust is an essential component of the relationship. If we don’t trust our partner, we create a barrier between the two of us. In the first case, we take our man’s masculinity accepting the role of a decision maker, and controller. Most of men hate being emasculated. In the second case, we act out of our own insecurities, and it’s very unattractive. A high value woman will never attempt to control her man and hold him next to her.
5. Being Impatient
When we like a man, we want him to act: to text us, call us, give us gifts, propose to us etc. A lot of men work differently. They think about everything slowly and thoroughly and act carefully. Instead of making him believing that it is his decision to go on a date, or get married, and let him come to us, we do his job for him. We call him out, call him and text him first, we pressure him to marry us. We don’t let a man fulfill his role as a man. And he pulls away because with our persistence we change an entire dynamics of the relationship. A man, when he wants a woman, acts, when the time is right for him. So ladies, patience is the key! Make yourself busy meanwhile!
6. Being Angry
Women are very sweet and gentle in general. Often times (especially once a month), however, we are just unhappy, angry people, sometimes yelling at our men, sometimes crying without a reason. It is normal, if it happens sometimes. We all are humans. But if we are angry on a regular basis, not even men, even us, we wouldn’t spend time with ourselves. Men like happy warm women, with a smile on their faces. The happier we are, the more attractive we are for other people, including our partner.
As a Conclusion….
…regardless all these possible mistakes that we make, and men rejecting us for different reasons, I encourage you not to be afraid to make them, and be ok with yourself even if you did. We don’t have to be perfect and nobody is. Whether we are angry, needy, or loving too much, we are so much more alive allowing ourselves to relax and experience life and love. Living through mistakes and rewards is so much more fulfilling than sitting there lonely, scared to be hurt again! Eventually, regardless of our imperfection, a high-value man will appear, accepting and loving us the way we are. And never forget to work on your own precious selves too! At the end of the day, it will be YOU who spends the most of the time with you. Make it fun, make it productive and fulfilling to yourself!
Thanks for reading, I hope it helps! Please, share with me other reasons of men pulling away and breaking up with us in your comments!
*(photocredit to Pixabay.com)